


forshameCWforshame.com

by truelyesoteric



Series: Not Quite Slash [7]
Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-14
Packaged: 2018-01-15 15:42:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1310215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truelyesoteric/pseuds/truelyesoteric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chad wants to save Jared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	forshameCWforshame.com

**Author's Note:**

> LJ Repost Circa 2008
> 
> PS: I have seen, but do not currently watch the following shows: Smallville, Gossip Girl, Reaper, and Top Model. So sorry if I got it wrong.

Australia has girls, sun and beer.

Chad liked girls, sun and beer.

Therefore, Chad liked Australia.

Australia was a good place to be for hiatus before they started filming season ten of 'One Tree Hill.' It was going to be great. They got rid of the tyke and brought in a fourteen year old. It wasn't another fast forward - they were just going to rapidly age him, like in the soap operas, so he could play on the Ravens. Which meant that Haley and Nathan were something like ten when they had him.

Chad loved the fact that people just glossed over these glaring plot holes.

**

Chad wasn't one for introspection.

Hell, he wasn't one for doing things he couldn't spell and he spelled the way a fourteen year old girl text messaged.

So yeah, he didn't sit around thinking much.

It just didn't matter. Other people didn't matter very much, and he gave more attention to his stupid wristband than he did most people.

But when that thing happened Chad started thinking.

It really wasn't his fault.

**

 

He saw the tabloid rags first. He stood in the store to read it because he didn't support these people on principle.

Chad had a few principles.

Plus, they had been mean to him with the whole Sophia thing, so he's not going to buy the fucking magazine out of spite.

There it was, in full color.

Jensen and Jared so close together that you couldn't see where one ended and the other began, mouths fused like you'd need the Jaws of Life to separate them, hands in almost inappropriate places.

There isn't a bit of blurry. It was as clear as anything that they were making out, all familiar like. This is no oops.

And that is definitely an erection.

Chad dropped the magazine like it’s hot, and not in that cool way Pharell sang about.

"They're idiots," Chad said, putting on his sunglasses and going outside.

Idiots they may be, but Jared was his idiot.

**

Hillarie called him.

"The CW is threatening to cancel his show because of this."

That's when the introspection started.

Thinking about Jared and his new show,whose ratings were pretty high up there. It didn't involve the supernatural or skinny fast-talking girls, but it was really loved.

Jared loved that show; it was as much his baby as those stupid dogs that never listened to anyone.

But the CW was going to cancel it because of some gay scandal.

Chad thought.

Then he thought some more.

Then he sighed.

This wasn't right. Nobody was going to gay-bash his friend.

It was time to change the world.

He called to change his flight to go back to the States early.

Then he called Michael Rosenbaum.

"We have to stage a coup," Chad told him.

What? He had heard it once and thought it sounded cool.

"I'm in," Michael replied, without knowing anything about it.

**

He called Jared when he got into LAX.

"How ya holding up?" he asked.

Jared sighed. "I've been better."

"Well, look at the bright side," Chad pointed out. "You can hold hands with your pretty little girlfriend in public now. Take him out, show him off."

"Who are you?" Jared asked, "I just got outed to the entire world."

"I'm a fucking optimist," Chad said haughtily.

**

Michael was on the other darling show on the CW. He played a stand up comic who had a child left to him by a college pal and there might be a monkey.

They met in a little office space that they decided to rent for this occasion.

Michael was wearing a visor like the ones you would see on a blackjack dealer. Chad had on a fedora.

Chad was leaning back in a chair.

They had a desk and two chairs.

"I bought a website," Mike said excitedly, "Its called forshameCWforshame.com. We need to take this online. We need to blog about it. Oh, and we need icons."

Mike was excited.

"Do you know how to do that?" Chad asked.

Mike deflated, "No."

They bought a laptop and an extra chair and called Allison.

**

Chad was constantly on the phone.

He was organizing a great CW walk-out. Every actor was going to leave their shows if Jared wasn't picked up.

He wasn't powerful by any stretch of the imagination, but he was shameless.

He got the entire cast of One Tree Hill to participate in the boycott because they were just that bored. Their plot lines were crazy, and they were so mired in their characters that it didn't matter if they were canceled or not. They were just that ambivalent. Besides, they liked Jared, and North Carolina was really boring.

The Smallville crew was hesitant. Smallville was also still on the air, still finding kryptonite in varying colors. Last week was fuchsia, next week was sassafras. The cast wasn't gung-ho. Tom hated anything public, Kristen was too cool, and Justin had very little grasp on the situation. Allison browbeat them into simply accepting the impending walk-out and then blogged about it. Plus, Vancouver was really, really boring.

The crew from Gossip Girl was promised booze. They immediately accepted.

Zac Effron didn't want to do the walkout because he had just gotten his own new show. Chad threatened him with physical violence. Chad would never fight- he was too lazy- but Zac believed him, and felt he was too pretty for bruises.

The kids from Reaper were just eager to be invited and join the cool crowd.

**

Then came the big guns.

"I hear you are all threatening to walk out if the CW pulls Jared's show because he's gay," Tyra was saying on the other end of the phone.

Chad was trying to listen, but he was in a little shock, and couldn’t stop picturing her Sports Illustrated spread.

"I saw it on your blog," she continued, "Count me in."

**

By the time that Jensen and Jared found out about the situation, it was a movement with a blog and following. The internet was abuzz. The fangirls, who had never stopped loving them from the Supernatural days, had totally accepted and embraced the whole Jensen and Jared thing. There was even video testimonials by Tyra, Chase, Sophia, Blake, Tom, and that girl from Reaper who had been on Heroes. It was a very, very pretty support network that Jensen and Jared had and didn't even know it.

They weren’t totally excited when they found out.

"What the hell did you do, Murray?" Jared groaned when he found out.

"People like you," Chad said, "I have no idea why. They all support your big gay love. The fucking CW is going to shut down if they cancel your show."

Chad was proud of this movement. He didn’t see why Jensen and Jared would not be.

"Oh my god," he heard a mortified Jensen, in the background. "Why is he doing this to us?"

"What?!" Chad said ignorantly, "You're out, you're proud, and you’ve met each other's parents."

There was scuffle, and someone else took the phone.

"Chad, it’s Chris. Steve and I have this song, just a little ditty that will go with the cause."

Chris understood why Jensen and Jared were not in love with the movement, but he loved, adored and cherished embarrassing his friends.

So he and Steve gave Chad the song they had made up one night when they were really, really high.

It was entitled, 'Just Because We're Gay We're Not Going Away' and was posted at forshameCWforshame.com

The little ditty was downloaded almost a thousand times in one day.

Chad and Mike got some calls. The Beastie Boys, Panic! At the Disco, Adam Lavigne, Gavin McGraw, K-Fed, Ashlee and Jessica Simpson, Hilary Duff and her sister, Nick and Drew Lachey (It was kind of an awkward moment when Jess and Nick met up, but they were willing to be the bigger people for the sake of the song), Ben Folds Five, Josh Groban, Snow Patrol, that guy who knocked up Lionel Richie's daughter and his brother, and Sting all gathered to sing the song. It was like We Are the World all over again.

Bono and Madonna were in Africa, but they sent their support.

**

"All causes need a benefit banquet," Mike informed Chad.

Chad tapped his fingers against each other. "Brilliant."

So they gathered everyone from the CW who they had cajoled, bribed and threatened to a nice event with live music from the artists who participated on the song.

It was beautiful and a banner evening with good food.

"What are you raising money for?" someone asked Chad.

"This banquet," Chad answered.

It was halfway through the night when Chad realized something.

"Where are Jensen and Jared?" he asked Mike.

"I thought you asked them," Mike said. "Oops."

**

CNN and Good Morning America called the same day.

Jared was too mortified to answer. Jensen flat out refused.

So Chad went on and answered questions about the movement, the song, and forshameCWforshame.com.

**

It was huge.

ForshameCWforshame.com had over a million hits in a matter of months.

Chad was proud of himself. He had started a movement to champion gay rights, he was so on his way to saving Jared, and there was theme music. So he bought a fichus for the office to go with the three chairs, desk, and laptop.

**

Then Chad got the call.

"The CW came out waving the white flag," Jared told him on speaker phone.

Mike pumped his fist.

"They're going to renew," Jared added, "They just want us to issue a statement saying that the CW isn't homophobic and they want Jen to produce a show about gay kids at summer camp or something like that."

"Aren't you glad that I did this?" Chad said haughtily. "You are now the face of gay, more than Rosie O’Donnell, or those five makeover guys, or even that butch singer chick whose babies are that Crosby guy's, but her chick had them."

"Jensen said to tell you that I'm not allowed to hang out with you anymore," Jared told him, embarrassed beyond belief.

"Wanna go to Vegas this weekend?" Chad asked.

"Sure," Jared answered.

**

So all was right with the world again.

Chad and Jared went to Vegas, and Chad did shots out of girl's cleavage because he deserved it for saving the world. Jared talked to strippers until Jensen called and yelled at him for being around strippers. Apparently, Jared was bi and Jensen hated him around strippers.

When the weekend was over and Jared could function again, he went back to Jensen and had lots of sex, because evidently the network and the entire world wanted him to.

When that weekend was over and Chad could see straight again, he went back to Australia for the women, sun and beer.

Because after making the world safe for Jared, he needed a vacation.

**THE END**

a/n: And I know there are going to be a million questions stemming from this fic, so I’ll get ahead of them and answer the questions right off the bat.

Q: What is Michael Rosenbaum’s series named?

A: Shazaaam. It’s the punch line from his act.

Q: What was Chad doing in Australia? Wouldn’t he hate to sit still for the long flight?

A: He fell in love with Australia during House of Wax and goes there as often as possible. That is what god invented Xanax for.

Q: Why didn’t Jason Manns sing the song with the rest of them?

A: He was touring in Europe.

Q: I thought Kristen Kruek was leaving Smallville. Why is she still around?

A: She went back around season 9.

Q: Why is Jensen such a bitch in this?

A: He wasn’t happy about the whole outing. It didn’t really affect him because he’s an indie actor and who cares if you are gay, but he’s very protective of Jared and Jared’s career. He thought Chad was making a joke out of their love because it took them a long time to be okay with it and Chad just made this whole big production of it. However, after everything blew over, he told Jared, and I quote, “Don’t ever tell Chad, but I love that guy. He made our lives so much easier.”

Q: The entire One Tree Hill cast is still on the show?

A: Strangely yes.

Q: Why a fichus?

A: Chad thinks they’re pretty.

Q: So you don’t think rehab will take for the cast of Gossip Girl?

A: No.

Q: What about Chase Crawford?

A: He’s still pretty and dating the N*Sync guy.

Q: Why wasn’t N*Sync singing the song?

A: I don’t know. I don’t have their schedule.

Q: Seriously though, Reaper is going to last that long?

A: Heather Locklear joins the cast.

Q: Do the Boston teams still kick ass in your future?

A: Sports are no longer happening because Boston teams kept sweeping football, basketball, hockey, baseball, cricket, golf, and soccer.

Q: The Patriots are in Foxboro, MA. They play in Gillette stadium.

A: You’re harshing my vibe dude.

Q: Sorry, just want you to be accurate.

A: Honestly, that isn’t even a question.

Q: Don’t you want to be accurate?

A: You’re ridiculous. I’m done with the Q & A


End file.
